Dad, Why Do I Have to Go to School?

The Deteriorating Educational Environment

When my son asked, "Why do I have to go to school?", my answer should be:

"You go to school to learn many important things that will help you in life. You get to discover new subjects, develop your skills, and understand the world better. It's also a place where you make friends, learn how to work with others, and prepare for future opportunities. School helps you grow into a knowledgeable and capable person."

Right? Well, my son’s response was, “But Dad, I don’t learn anything at school. I learn more with you. They have so many restrictions that I don’t enjoy playing. We even watch TV in the classroom, which makes you stupid.”

At this point, you say ‘What the hell is going on’ and you reflect on what is happening with today’s educational system. I have been a professor and lecturer at universities in Greece, the UK, and Australia for more than 10 years, clearly things have changed significantly since then.

The Shifting Educational Landscape

A personal reflection

I remember loving school as a kid. The first year was tough - new environment, new circumstances, fear of the unknown - but it quickly became a place of mostly positive experiences. Of course, looking back, the benefits of my education are even clearer today.

School was where I learned the basics, got inspired by teachers who genuinely cared, and got excited about new topics. My choice of profession was partially inspired by my teachers.

Of course, there were drawbacks. There was extreme attention to exams and memorization, as well as a noticeable lack of critical thinking.

But school was also a place where we learned discipline, how to handle bullies, deal with embarrassment, make friends, compete but also cooperate, and take risks.

The diversity of experiences at school is what made it important. A natural evolution would be to improve the things the educational system did wrong, not to discard hundreds of years of experience, right?

Discipline and Structure

School taught us the importance of discipline. Whether it was adhering to a timetable, completing homework on time, or preparing for exams, these experiences instilled a sense of responsibility and time management.

For example, my math teacher used to give us weekly tests to ensure we were on track with the curriculum.

This regular assessment helped build a routine, encouraged consistent study habits, and taught us how to deal with stress.

There were also punishments, like slaps with a ruler on the hand, pinching of the ear, or standing in front of the class facing the wall (I experienced all of these). These were also teaching moments, helping us learn to deal with embarrassment and take responsibility for our actions. If what I did felt right to me but was wrong for the teacher, I accepted the punishment but I would still do it. That's life. We understand our limits and realize that if we choose to go against the system and rebel, we must accept the consequences. Fair enough.

Now, anything physical is considered ‘violence,’ and even harsh emotional experiences are labelled as ‘violence’.

I am not suggesting we return to physical punishments, but today we have swung to the other extreme. A little bit of soft military style discipline wouldn't harm, though!

Handling Bullies and Developing Resilience

Dealing with bullies was an unfortunate reality, but it also provided valuable lessons in resilience and conflict resolution. We will always face bullies in our lives, that’s for sure.

We do not eliminate the bullies; we eliminate our fear by learning how to deal with them.

Today's tendency to eliminate external problems instead of addressing our inner reactions is extraordinary! Self-improvement has always been about focusing on yourself, not silencing others. If you silence the challenge, you miss the opportunity to learn.

I remember an incident in the third grade when a classmate repeatedly picked on me. With the guidance of a supportive teacher and my parents, I learned to stand up for myself and seek help only in extreme situations. This experience taught me the importance of assertiveness and seeking support from trusted adults only when absolutely necessary.

Today, you are not allowed to react to a bully; you must immediately talk to a teacher.

This approach takes away your power and makes you weaker in the process. It’s a common trend we observe in today’s society.

Don’t we see the same with adults today? Don’t talk to those who insulted you directly, communicate through solicitors. Avoid voice or face contact, just send emails. Promoting cowardly behaviours has become way too common.

Embracing Embarrassment and Learning from Mistakes

Embarrassment was a common part of the learning process. I vividly recall forgetting my lines during a school play in front of the entire school. It was mortifying, but it also taught me how to recover from mistakes and move forward. This experience highlighted the importance of perseverance and not being afraid to fail.

We should learn about embarrassment and how to deal with it. Sometimes embarrassment can be misplaced, but most of the time, it is a social signal that something needs to be corrected. It helps you improve yourself and become a more contributing member of society.

Today, this perspective is changing. It's become more acceptable to be obese, to be an addict, to be divorced, and so on. These shifts can create the illusion that everything is okay and that nothing needs to change, which moves us away from self-improvement and personal growth.

Making Friends and Building Social Skills

School was also where I made lasting friendships and learned crucial social skills. Group projects and team sports were common activities that encouraged collaboration and communication. For instance, working on a science fair project with my classmates helped me understand the value of teamwork and sharing responsibilities.

Even that has changed today. The teachers want to make sure that all kids need to feel good all the time. My son told me that on Valentine's Day, all kids had to make cards for other kids so that everyone would feel good. He said he didn’t want to write a card for a person he didn’t like, yet he was forced to. Really? Is this how life works? Will everyone like you no matter what? How will these kids react when they become adults or even teenagers and have to deal with rejection?

Competition and Cooperation

That’s a tough one and under massive attack! Competitiveness was fostered through sports and academic challenges. I enjoyed participating in inter-school competitions, which pushed me to improve and excel. Yes, I was jealous when someone was better than me, but this also motivated me to try harder.

Competitiveness is at the core of human beings and our civilization. No progress would have been made without it.

Yet, schools are trying to dampen it, using the excuse that some kids will feel bad and jealous. It's all about emotions, right? No.

What distinguishes humans from animals is our ability to act consciously and go beyond our emotions and instincts.

Of course, school also emphasized the importance of cooperation. For example, in physical education classes, team sports like soccer and basketball taught us how to work together towards a common goal, balancing competitive spirit with teamwork. Although that’s something that still remains today, cooperation and competitiveness should go hand in hand.

Then and now

It is clear that the educational environment has changed significantly, and not always for the better. When my son tells me that he learns nothing at school, that they don’t let him play freely, and that there are so many restrictions, it saddens me. Despite his school being considered good by modern standards, the joy of learning seems to be missing.

Lack of Engagement: Using TV in classrooms? How about spending more time on interactive and engaging learning activities, including outdoors? This is a stark contrast to the past when school activities were more hands-on and dynamic.

Over-Regulation and Safety Concerns: The current education system is heavily regulated due to safety concerns, resulting in an environment that feels overly sanitized. Activities that once taught resilience and independence are now restricted to avoid potential legal issues. Playing rough is important, taking risks is important, and getting hurt now and then is also important.

Gender Imbalance in Teaching: The lack of male teachers in primary schools means that children miss out on a balanced approach to learning. The predominantly female teaching staff often emphasizes compassion and nurturing, but the absence of male teachers means children are less exposed to different teaching styles that might include more assertiveness and directness.

Avoiding Discomfort: Modern education tends to avoid any situation that might cause discomfort or challenge a child's emotional state. While it's important to provide a supportive and safe environment, it is equally crucial to prepare children for the realities of life. They need to learn how to navigate difficulties, face challenges, and develop the grit that will help them succeed in the future.

Less Preparation for Adversity: This shift is creating a generation of children who are less prepared to handle adversity. When everything is overly sanitized and regulated, kids miss out on opportunities to learn from their mistakes and grow stronger. This is likely why my son doesn't enjoy going to school.

The joy of discovery, the thrill of overcoming obstacles, and the satisfaction of mastering new skills are being overshadowed by an environment that prioritizes emotional comfort over intellectual and personal growth.

Need for a Balanced Approach: Moreover, the lack of engaging, challenging, and meaningful educational content is making school less appealing to children who crave excitement and intellectual stimulation. The current system seems more concerned with shielding children from any form of stress or failure rather than equipping them with the tools to cope with and overcome these experiences.

Moving Forward

We need to advocate for a balanced approach in education—one that values emotional well-being but also recognizes the importance of challenge, resilience, and intellectual rigor. Only then can we hope to prepare our children adequately for the demands of adulthood and ensure they develop a genuine love for learning.

It is clear that when my son comes to me, frustrated with the current educational system, I understand his concerns. Schools today are different from what they used to be, but it's our responsibility to push for improvements that balance safety with the necessary challenges that foster growth and resilience.

We need to let boys be boys: let them be curious, take risks, and be rough. Similarly, let girls be girls, encouraging their natural inclinations and interests. These experiences are essential for their development. One day, these boys and girls will become the men and women who will run our society and undertake dangerous tasks or fight for our liberties. By allowing them the freedom to explore and grow, we are preparing them to be resilient, capable, and confident leaders of the future.

Join the school parents' council, advocate for improvements at school, push against over-shielding kids from challenges, and help keep political agendas out of the school. There is so much that we, as parents, can do.

No wonder home-schooling is on the rise worldwide!